Digging through plastic storage boxes of memory lane late last night opened up floodgates to pieces of me I haven’t looked on in years.
Especially the sketches, the writing, the paintings. The art that I had forgotten brought me energy and satisfaction and focus. Since these feeling-long-ago times, my hours and years have been spent in very different ways.
(I miss this neglected piece of me.)
But I also see life has having very defined seasons. That all, each and every season, have their place and their part and their chapter in this ongoing story.
Parts of my younger self: I shake my head at and want to squeeze her tight and tell her to chill the heck out and just breathe. Other parts of my younger self: I am indescribably proud that girl and want to again squeeze her tight and affirm that gritty, bruised perseverance she’s collected.
Flashing back through piles of photographs and writings and albums and tangible treasures of scattered memories of the past 3 decades of life... well, it’s giving me fresh perspective on this rainy day.
Like looking down from above at the collage-scrapbook-calendar of my years so far: at all the momentary and seasonal life struggles and occasions and milestones... (some I warmly miss and some I mourn for and some I am so glad to be done of)... and it helps me today, in this present season, to see it for as fast passing and always changing as it is and will be. Embracing the hard with fierceness and chin-up and clenched jaw, but also savoring and swaying and absorbing the absolutely wonderful.
I miss the artist in me, but maybe she’ll come out again somehow. Or maybe the years of maturing will keep steering me in those unknown paths where new gifts will reveal themselves.
For now: we are in right place for this season, for this chapter we’re smack in the middle of today.
As for me, I am alone for 2 1/2 hours in the mornings for this school year. After 12 1/2 years is always having children to spin around in caregiving... I am so grateful God already has a plan for where my next steps will take me.
(Soundtrack of the moment: Tracy Chapman’s “I Promise.” LISTEN. It just fits.) https://music.amazon.com/albums/B001IAUGMS?do=play&trackAsin=B001IANDNC&ref=dm_sh_yA9eg9JuzAGS5P19ttExSd76Z
Blessings,
Elizabeth
