Perspective

During a conversation with a friend earlier today, my friend commented on how (through good ol' Facebook) she has admired how I seem able to manage my three boys and, at the same time, have such sweet moments with them. 
(Even as this friend knows the load of being a fellow momma to the young and needy of care, even as she knows the burdens and concerns built into everyday life: Finances, Never-Ending Workload, Desire for Refreshment, Search for Purpose.)

My spirit soared to hear such words spoken by my friend, yet it was not a prideful soaring. 
More honestly, her words affirmed deep in my soul how much my perspective has continued to be molded and formed. How it has changed into something more beautiful. 
And not because of ME. 
But because of the wrenching lessons borne from the struggles in my life. 

I've been reflecting throughout this day about what has taken place within me. 
Me, who has fought the ongoing burden of depression throughout many seasons of my life.   

Days where...
-I strained for the energy to get out of bed in the mornings. (Even when acknowledging the gifts in my life and wondering the reasons for such despair.) 
-Time and time again I would catch myself staring off into space, blankly swimming through a tangle of discouragement. (Even as life- even as my sweet children- continued moving on around me.)
-During a time in college, my mom called me every 15 minutes to check on me and offer her soothing words of love and encouragement. (Tears come to my eyes as I write this, even all these years later. VIVID is this struggle.)

I believe this struggle that I've continued to FIGHT HARD against is at the core of who I am and upon where my perspective is based... 

After countless times of being low, I have been in a desperate fight against any returning to low spots. 
It is a BATTLE. 
And these are my weapons that have become my way of life: 

-Gratitude. For the tiniest gifts.

-Believing in a bigger purpose, with hope. (HOPE.)

-Faith in God's promises: That I am never alone in my struggle. That healing, perfect days are coming.

-Living IN THE MOMENT. (Searching for and drawing out every bit of joy possible from within the ordinary.)

-Gratitude. Again gratitude.

(My ongoing fight against any returns to the pit of depression has included finding a right medical solution to maintain a healthy balance, and has also required an enormous perspective change.)

Feelings of guilt? 

Turn it over to Christ. 

(I am a woman full of failures, but I have a Creator who has changed my future.)

Feelings of insignificance? Weakness? Uncertain purpose?

Remember I am loved by the One who made me. Remembering He has a design for my life. (And your life.)

Regrets? 

I choose to not even go there. 

("It is what it is" has become my manta that has worked to wash away the fruitless path I once took in looking back at past regrets. For some reason, those words have healing power. Move forward.)

Discontentment? Comparison?

GRATITUDE. Gratitude. GRATITUDE. 

(The honest message given in Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" has not ceased to change my life, my days, my moments.) 

Here are some words from God's Word that are hidden deep within me, ready to be pulled out at moment's notice: (May they encourage you as well.)

Yet He knows the way I have taken;

when He has tested me, 

I will emerge as pure gold.

Job 23:10

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 

Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 

So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, 

because we know that affliction produces endurance, 

endurance produces proven character, 

and proven character produces hope. 

This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

On those days of struggling to get out of bed and start the day... 

What got me moving? 

Recognizing the simple pleasure of imagining a steaming cup of coffee alongside some quiet moments to read or journal before others awaken and the house explodes with activity and needs.

Recognizing that the bloom of JOY within me that grew from that simplest part of daily life eventually GREW into savoring the precious pleasures throughout the minutes of life, especially with my children. 

THIS is what has truly changed within me: the perspective of choosing to see the beauty in the ordinary. And seeing it all as a gift.

That is why (on Facebook, for instance) I choose to share warm moments of joy or sweetness or humor or significance... because my soul has such a deep appreciation for recognizing those bits of life. And I cannot help but share those moments with you. Because finding such moments of rest for my soul is absolutely significant and powerful to me.

So it is not as though life is constantly warm and trouble-free, as we can sometimes imagine others have attained in this Facebook world of ours. But. But it is the important stuff. It is what makes my spirit rejoice and long to share.

May you search and recognize the beauty in your ordinary.

Blessings.