Taller than the moon and farther than the sun.

The Chopstick vs. Shirt Incident

Have you ever had gotten a hole poked through your t-shirt from a pair of wooden chopsticks in the hands of a 5 year old? 

Me neither, until today.

As my dear friend and I were enjoying a nice chat over lunch with our boys, I felt a tug on the sleeve of my softest teal-colored t-shirt. I looked down and saw a chopstick poking THROUGH my shirt! That deadly chopstick was connected to the small hand of my son. My mouth must have dropped open as I quickly assessed what had just taken place!

I tried to balance my reaction with firmness without saying something I'd regret later. I did insist "DO NOT TOUCH MY SHIRT ANYMORE" to my son. (Mommas need breathing room at times, no?!)

Bless that boy, as he tried to tell me he could fix my shirt... 
"I can sew it."
"I can tape it."
"I can put glue on it."

My friend and I tried to contain our laughter. Even in my anger, it was pretty silly. Still, I had to train my son that it's not okay to touch things that belong to other people, and it's especially not okay to damage those things. Firm words were conveyed, even as he tried to stuff a tiny piece of paper into the hole in my t-shirt sleeve. He told me he had fixed that hole! Sure.

Minutes later, as I drove the boys away from the restaurant, a tiny voice asked from the back seat,
"Mom, are you still angry?"

My heart felt that momma tug. 

I reached my arm into that crazy-awkward angle to the backseat of the car, to grasp the hand of that 5 year old.

I (once again) used a firm voice and told my son, 
"I love you no matter what. No matter what you do. When you make mistakes, when you do things on purpose that hurt. I will always love you. Do you understand me?"

His blue eyes locked onto my brown ones. He held onto my hand with both his small hands.

"Sometimes Daddy gets mad at you, Mom. And sometimes you get mad at Daddy. Sometimes Luke even gets mad. Ben is the only one who doesn't do that." 

Oh, the conversation that followed between us during that car ride. About the bad things we ALL do. The anger we express at times. The on-purpose things we do wrong, and even the accidental things. 
(And how, yes, Ben is too little to do "bad things" on purpose... yet!)

Then he asked me if I still love him "taller than the moon." 
Well, of course I do, my sweet boy. 
"And do you love me "farther than the sun? That's super far away." 
Oh yes, precious child. 

I will always love you taller than the moon and farther than the sun. 

I didn't want to let go of that boy's hand. But life goes on, and he was back to chatting with his baby brother.

I will continue to wear my t-shirt with the hole in today. It's reminding me how important my reactions are. How much our young ones understand and remember; how much they pick up on when they are the unseen witnesses of the dynamics in every conversation they overhear. 
I've memorized this quote that I heard months ago: "Only speak words that make souls stronger." (Ann Voskamp) 
If only we could easily remember that we can grab hold of strength from the One who will always give us strength. Before ugly, hurt-inducing words come out of our mouths that do NOT make those babe's souls stronger.

My thoughts for this afternoon.

Blessings!