Sounds + Silences = You

It has been a gray, rainy day.

Which caused my mind to drift... 

Reminiscing. Recalling.

What are those sounds?

The kind that, when you close your eyes or travel back in time, bring a smile to your heart. The familiar, the "natsukashii" (nostalgic) of your history, your life.

What do those memories do for your spirit? 

Sometimes a kind of healing, rejuvenation. Memories come alive, to provide a break from present concerns. Or to send you on a lovely trip back down that worn-lane of childhood. Or these may be cherished sounds of your today. 

Soul nourishing, emotion stirring. 

Warmth to your spirit that you didn't even know was missing... Richness.

A piece of your identity that cannot be mocked, removed, tainted. (Pure and simple YOU.)

For me?

An exploration of memory.

Best sounds 101.

The strong, steady rainfall while covering with a thick blanket at night...

The squeaky swishing of windshield wipers, side-to-side, on a long, dark destination...

The precise, snappy click of heeled shoes brisk down a hall...

The lovely, harmonized alto of Mom's voice to a hymn...

Sleepy "I love you" words from a dear one.

The dry crunch under feet of autumn leaves of warm color...

The rhythmic creaking of a rocking chair after many years of loving use...

The all-comforting hum of a dishwasher hard at work at the end of an evening...

The gentlest tick-tick-tick of a grandmother's mantle clock.

The beginning sounds of a beloved song, stirring your spirit in the sweet familiarity...

And now, a picture journey of sounds:

(As you scroll, be forming your own list of personal best, sensory-filled memories...)

The soft, rhythmic clink of a spoon stirring in a coffee cup.

The crackling wood of a roaring fireplace.

The steady bum-bumps of that cherished, still-forming member of the family.

The intense suck of little lips and cheeks, driven toward fulfillment.

The gentle, gasp-like breath of a newborn's yawn.

 The leather flip-flip of slippers on linoleum, padding around the kitchen.

A loved one, briskly flipping pages in the Word, on a search.

The uncontrolled laughter between girlfriends.

The whispered words of a goodbye.

 The giggle of a little boy.

The ridiculous grace of friendship at an elegant setting...

The magic of Disney. At night. (Like a child.)

10 years ago memory of my wedding-eve, 

nervous-unable-to-be-contained Lady Marmalade giggles between 3 sisters. 

My mom's experienced fingers gracing the keys.

The magic of "Narnia" in hushed voices, charm.

Yet.

How I too love the quiet.

SILENCE.

The softest falling snow. Worthy of a back porch show. Hush.

The gentle, barely-there kiss of a mother to her daughter's child.

The pause of wonder. Take.it.in.

The speechless gaze at the world.

The sight of emotion within, without.

The solitude. A break-taking sight.

Quiet worship, written and seen.

An evening of shared silence, together as a large family.

The spontaneous gift of a brotherly kiss.

The rushing, rocky mountain stream right at your feet.

The tear-filled silence at the end of a bond.

The unending scene of pure, undisturbed sea. From.A.Castle.

And a  silly thought about silence: 
What is with my discovery that many of my dearest, most favorite, memorable-in-my-heart Disney characters being quiet, silent? 
(Not sure! But when this was realized, I sure smiled, even laughed at myself!) 
Read on...

"Toy Story 2" "Toy Story 3" 

Bullseye:

Silent, loyal, humble.

"Cars" "Cars 2"

Red:

Silent. Sensitive. Friend.

 

"Aladdin" 

Magic Carpet:

Silent. Brave. Helper.

"The Little Mermaid" 

Flounder: 

Silent. Cute. Partner.

(Anyway...!)

Take time in your day, your night. To recall, to refocus. 

To allow your mind to explore those reminders of the richness of YOU. Your identity, your woven depth.

And reflect: 

What feeds your spirit? 

The noise, the silence.

The memories = Nourishment.

Just some recollection and warmth and gratitude on this dreary day.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Slow Songs

Once in awhile... 

An all-too-familiar sensation floods over me, pushing me down. 

My mind chases after whirling anxieties in desperation, with downcast thoughts. 
My spirit is overwhelmed, seeming frozen in place. 
My heart is heavy, with a darkness wanting to snatch away any hope, any peace.

(Phew, right?)

Last night, I was heading in that direction.

Sometimes it's without warning. Sometimes it's certain circumstances build their case toward that shift in my usually-optimistic, practical, fight-through outlook.

• Maybe it came from feeling weighed down with the stress of the long, final weeks of my beloved's enormous grad school workload. 
• Or from recognizing a certain guilt of having healthy children... when others are not given that same situation.
• Or perhaps my mulling through some present-yet-unresolved-uncertainties and scary soon-to-be-challenges within those I dearly love.
• Or even stemming from my recent mental fogginess and stuffed head (from an overly-exuberant me: so ready for springtime walks outside that in the bundling up of others, I neglected to care for myself!).
• Maybe just a combination. Weariness, burdens, self-focus. Life.

But at the boys' bedtime last night, hope gently pushed its way back up, 

returning to its rightful place. 

The older two boys were tightly tucked under blankets in their bunkbeds, 

nightlight glowing dimly, calming hum of the humidifier, youngest brother held close in my arms, drifting to sleep... 

As sometimes is the case, in the darkness of the pale blue room, 

the words of cherished and oh-so familiar hymns begin to slip from my tongue.

Softly at first. 

Then increasing intensity.

More and more. From deep within.

So common, so familiar. 

Yet not.

When you slowly unravel the words, 

slowly say the words aloud, 

everything changes.

Please. 

Whisper them along with me as you unhurriedly speak these words:

In Christ alone.

My hope is found.

He is my light.

My strength. 

My song.

This Cornerstone.

This solid Ground.

Firm. Through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love.

What depths of peace.

When fears are stilled.

When strivings cease.

My Comforter.

My All in All.

Here. In the love of Christ. I stand.

(And on and on... absolutely breathtaking, soul quenching.) 

Next out of my mouth were those heartfelt words:

When peace like a river attendeth my way.

When sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say:

It is well.

It is well with my soul.

And then, slowly:

Great is Thy faithfulness.

Great is Thy faithfulness.

Morning by morning

New mercies 

I see.

All. I. Have. Needed.

Thy hand hath provided.

Great 

is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Strength for today.

And bright hope for tomorrow...

One more. So known, but so genuine:

Then sings

my soul

My Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou are, how great Thou art.

And somehow, somehow. Through these words, familiar to many of us from whatever walk of life and background... 

My heart, my mind found their Source of peace, strength, hope, hidden joy.

And you know what happens? 

To those dark thoughts flooding over me? 

Light floods in. Light wins.

"Darkness.cannot.overcome.light."

(Pastor Glen Lozier, Arthur Evangelical Free Church)

As I rocked in the chair, lulling a sleepy baby, God came near. 

It brings tears to my eyes, that this is truth:

"Those who seek the Lord? He finds them."

(Rev. Alan Tunberg, Arthur Church Sunday School Class)

3 images came to mind, from our Colorado travels last summer:

When the path began, an intense dryness described the ground. Lack of abundance, no water, no relief from the shade. Walking up the path, straining under the sun and the heat, eventually a roaring could be heard. The sound of relief, of thirst-to-be quenched. Of hope. Finally, at an overlook, it could be seen. The deafening, thunderous water. Powerful. Tumbling down the mountain. Real. Available. Found when sought after. If one did not give up and turn around when all seemed lost, in the period of dryness.

Continually this week, God has been revealing a similar thread of truth:

Keep close to Him.

"(Our) principal endeavor has been to stay as close as possible to God."

(brother Lawrence, Practicing the Presence of God)

"Because, after all, is not our true aim and aspiration just to be near God?

...A soul that makes God its primary pursuit, because in this journey called life, regardless of the scenery, 
such a soul is deeply contented in the Company."

(Alicia Britt Chole, Anonymous)

(Oh, to remember the messages of those songs.

He is our rock. He is our strength. He is light. 

He is faithful, day after day. He meets our needs.

He provides mercy. He is our comforter. He is solid. 

He is worthy of our trust, our strivings.)

Seek His will, His unseen purposes for our lives.

"Yet not what I will, 
but what You will."

(Mark 14:36)

"My God, I am all Yours; 
do what You will in me."

(brother Lawrence, Practicing the Presence of God)

Rather than our desire to "put things back where they were before"...

Maybe, maybe we are called to prevail through the difficult circumstances. 

To remain faithful.

(Terry Gerdes, Arthur Church Sunday School Class)

"Day after day He bears our burdens."

(Psalm 68:19)

Questions:

Why does God choose to care for each of us so very personally, generation after generation? (Truly, why?) 

...I have no idea. Simple me. I cannot comprehend these truths, even a tiny bit. Yet I do my best to trust that His mercy and care are real, and that I do not need all the answers. I just close my eyes and open my mind to the reality that there is a God who is present and who knows. 

And all of it, this life? 
It is all meant FOR HIS GLORY.

Don't forget those songs. Don't forget those messages. Whisper them to your soul. Or shout them at full power. Just don't forget. 

Hope will return. Light will burn away the darkness. The Provider of today's strength is ready and waiting.

Blessings as we continue the journey,
Elizabeth

Click

"This is when living is art is living."

(Emily P. Freeman) 

Life teaches us lessons. All the time. Like snapshots. 

Living. The lessons come. CLICK. Remember. 

For instance?

Waiting for a work call to end before we gathered 'round our dinnertable. Reheating, again, lukewarm dishes of food. 

"No, do not touch until it is time to eat." "Just wait." "Have patience." 
Hungry boys. Crying baby. Moments ticking by. 

Suddenly, "Uh oh, Mom." An explosion of warmed rice. Sticky rice. Table, floor, chair, shirt, socks. Sticky. The child had no longer waited, had not obeyed. Little boy hands had grabbed the container filled with food, and it did not go as planned. 

Boy now sitting on the stairs, away from the table. Waiting for a reaction. Words of anger?

Husband and I, on our knees, picking up pieces of (did I mention: sticky) rice. Piece by tiny piece. Long seconds ticking by.

It strikes me. 

I am on my knees, head bowed to the ground as my own fingers become sticky while gathering white rice off the carpet. How often does this posture and movement occur during hours at home, caring for the needs of children? Hmm. More than I wish. Collecting up bits of playdough, spilled cheerios, dropped sippy cups, scraps of paper, discarded legos, remnants of meals. How often am I grumbling inside. Wishing my minutes could be used in a different way?

Click.

On my knees. In my own silence.

A whisper: YOU COULD PRAY.

Not be angry, Not be ruminating. But instead PRAYING.

Click:

Remember this, self. On my knees, on the ground? Pray.

A handful of Clicks...

Click:

This child's tender vulnerability. Remember this during times you must train and correct. Our imprint on lives is indelible, permanent.

"For certain seasons of their lives, their mama's voice 

may be the best representation of God's heart for them that they have."

(Brooke McGlothlin)

Click:

"Appreciate my uniqueness, Momma. Look into my eyes. Do you see me, really? I'm busy, you're busy. Still, look at me, please. Help shape me into the grown-up I'm going to be."

"Notice. Be a noticer."

(Lysa Terkeurst)

Click: 

Be in the moments, fully. Remember to be slow. Stop the crazy scurrying. Be aware, to savor the scene for what it is. 

 "This course...

it is as full of potential as any course has been and any course will ever be." 

(Alicia Britt Chole)

Click:

Life can feel beautiful and abruptly turn ugly. Joy followed by strife. Peace mixed with pain. So: Appreciate the wonder. Grab onto the lovely.

"How will I handle the unplanned? 

...The easy, uninspired way is to be frustrated. This takes zero creativity. 

But the real challenge for me is to walk into this day with new eyes – to decide to see, handle, and face the ordinary in a different kind of way." 

(Emily P. Freeman)

Click: 

Life is full of the real, the genuine, the humorous unexpected. Be alert. Be looking for these scenes.

"You will be most remembered — 

by what brought you most joy." 

(Ann Voskamp)

Click: 
In the hustle, the rush, the competition: Contemplate. Take it in. Never stop searching for answers, for purpose.

"So here’s to you, my fellow slow-processors. 

Take the long way home. 

Embrace the silence to consider. 

Give yourself permission to think, to listen, to be sure.

Here’s to waiting before we move, pausing before we speak, and taking a week to cross of our day list. Here’s to shuffling our feet, playing on the floor, and staring out the window if we need to. Here’s to listening to our questions, sitting in the darkness, and letting our experiences do their deep work within us. Here’s to a long, deep breath."

(Emily P. Freeman)

Click:

Months pass, people can change before your eyes. Slow, sacrifice, listen, cherish. (And of course, Hug.)

"What God’s graciously given us 

is always enough to be abundant grace for someone else."

(Ann Voskamp)

Oh, how I am thankful for the many CLICKS in my memory. Truly this is how I remember, recall, am reminded. 

So many lessons. And they will only continue for me, for you. (And yes, these personal hobbies will also continue: the taking of pictures and the collecting of quotes... bringing joy and art and life deep within.)

What are your moments, your lessons? 

What are those scenes that are imprinted within you?

Blessings as we're learning on this journey together,

Elizabeth

I recognize I am not especially quick or competitive or coordinated or able to juggle much in my small part of the world. But I am learning to see the value of the particular gifts in the way I've been designed. And now to share the blessings I've been slowly uncovering... the simple way I've come to appreciate the days of my life.

"But I picture us standing there
Staying away from time
Just watching it like a river

As it slowly washes by."

(Jack Johnson)